Wedding Planning Tips...
Get advice on planning your big day, from those who know wedding planning best; our Spectacular Vintage vendors!
Luisa Toselli, Owner of Four Seasons Events, breaks down one of the biggest causes of stress for brides and grooms-to-be; tackling that all important guest-list!
Writing a guest list for your wedding can be a daunting task for some. The amount of people the couple invites will affect their overall budget, their choice of venue options, the style of the wedding and everything in between. Then there's the dreaded "Aunty Mary can't sit with cousin James because they don't like each other" conversation that we all dread! Not to mention the parents wanting to invite half the parish to the reception because "you can't leave them out!" *eye roll*
At Four Seasons Events, the way we look at it is you need to prioritize. Treat it like an episode of the XFactor and you guys are the judges. To help couples out there figure it out, we've devised some general and simple rules to follow to help you work out who you really want there, and who you can leave off the wedding guest list altogether:
1. We've complied a list of guests that are usually invited to a wedding. REMEMBER! Each wedding if different, each couple are different and there is no "Normal" when it comes to guest list. In no particular order...
2. Now lets look at the categories of prioritization - A through F. (A being "We cannot get married without this person" and F being "I don't even know this persons last name".
Take a seat, grab a page, pour a LARGE glass of wine and create a column for each section e.g. A, B, C, D, E, F. While couples should do this activity together, its important that each person writes their own list. You can compare them later once the exercise is done.
Here are the categories;
A: Ask yourself: "If we had to get married in 24 hours, who would we want to have there?" - These are the absolute HAVE TO be there crew.
B: "We would be so disappointed if they couldn't make it" - These are the folks that you would hate to not have them there and you would miss them on the day if they weren't there.
C: "It would be nice if these people were there. They mean a lot to us and we would love to share our day with them". These are the people who have been there since you were a baby or people who have known you from the start of your relationship. You're fond of them and wouldn't mind sharing a dance to Tina Turners "Simply The Best" at midnight.
D: "Wouldn't it be nice to invite..." - You like these people. You're hoping they can make it but it's cool if they can't.
E: "I have to invite them because..." - These people you know, but they're acquaintances, or someone that your parents know.
F: "What's their last name? What's their address"? - You don't these people. They don't know you. You couldn't pick them in a line up.
3. Once you both have written down the names, pour your significant other another glass of wine and discuss. Start with all the people you've listed in the A category as these are the people that you both want to invite and are non negotiable.
Move to the B category and discuss. These are mostly non negotiable but you are willing to listen to the other persons objections to find a solution.
Next, it's the C category; these people are not safe. If the other person doesn't like them, they're gone BUT each person has 10 people (or how many you agree on BEFORE you start the judging) they can save from this list.
D Category; same as C but you can only save 4.
E Category; same as C & D but each person can only save 2.
F Category; NO ONE IS SAFE!!! *evil laugh*
As long as each person is open to compromise and willing to make changes, this process should be relatively stress free. And you can include your family in this exercise too! If you have a parent who wants to invite 150 of their own friends, make this list with them. And buy more wine. One glass may not be enough.
If all else fails, call the professionals. Four Seasons Events have the couples best interests at heart and will work with you to ensure that your guest list fits into your budget, your venue and your day without causing controversy or family drama.